Fast cars and richness is a MAJOR help for my love

Ewwww

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:38:24 GMT

Gross--I agree 17% with Huckabee?!

97% Dennis Kucinich
95% Mike Gravel
81% Chris Dodd
81% John Edwards
79% Barack Obama
78% Hillary Clinton
75% Joe Biden
73% Bill Richardson
34% Rudy Giuliani
27% Ron Paul
24% John McCain
17% Mike Huckabee
15% Mitt Romney
14% Tom Tancredo
6% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Jerry Springer

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 20:16:57 GMT

which I don't really watch, but happened to catch this gem this afternoon:

Jerry: Why did you run him over with your car?

Cracked out lady: Because he all puffed his chest up like he was somebody.

Come on.

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:33:29 GMT

You think if "your" going to make a t-shirt, "your" at least going to f'ing spell-check it.

Oscar upset

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 23:40:43 GMT

So, as angry as I was last year when "Brokeback Mountain" got robbed of Best Picture by "Crash," I wasn't nearly as upset as last night when "Click" got totally robbed of its well-deserved Oscar. The Academy obviously doesn't know what it's doing when "Click" doesn't get an Academy Award.

Maury's fat babies

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 19:09:23 GMT

I sure love when Maury has fat babies on his show.

Just now I was watching a woman defend her decision to feed her 120 pound 4 year old "lots of Starburstses"

Help put an end to a long-standing debate

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 01:49:50 GMT

Mike and I have a now many-year long debate about which Christmas song is sadder: "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," or "I'll Be Home for Christmas."

Help us out. Which is the more depressing Christmas song? We need to resolve this before Christmas rolls around so I can figure out which to put on my iPod while I wander around cold and snowy streets looking into the windows of celebratory families in Santa sweaters cutting open a juicy turkey.

What 2004 hit song are you?

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 23:46:39 GMT

Apparently this quiz has a relatively loose definition of "hit song"

Sorry 2004 by Ruben Studdard

"This is my sorry for 2004.
And I ain't gonna mess up no more, this year."

Your popularity expired on 12/31/04

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Mutant Typology Test

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 01:02:44 GMT

There's no html for this, but I like it. You should try it. Shelley Jackson, who has a great new novel out, Half Life, has this Mutant Typology Test available online.

Here's my "output":

Your parasite, also known as a duplicata incompleta, is what would have been a conjoined twin attached to you at the head, but its development was stunted in the womb.

You often have the feeling that you are not alone, though nobody accosts you, or blocks your path. More, it seems you possess a sort of guardian or alter ego, someone who watches over you, but who sees things you do not see, or sees the same things, but from an inverse perspective. You are occasionally stirred by sensations that have no identifiable source within conscious experience. You occasionally perform actions you did not intend, e.g. putting away the milk in the freezer, that seem to reflect some sort of logic, but a logic that is back to front, or topsy-turvy. Sometimes it is a burden to know that for everything you think you understand, there is another interpretation you cannot access—probably one that, if revealed, would turn everything you believe on its head. Usually, though, this is a source of secret satisfaction, as it may be the case that what seems to you your worse mistake may be in fact your salvation. You are particularly drawn to the optical trickery of the Changing Head. Your literary form is the ghost story.

You are related to...
The Two-Headed Boy of Bengal, born in 1783 in Mundul Gait, Bengal

Rent

Sun, 14 May 2006 13:25:07 GMT

We're looking to move all of our stuff from one place (Boulder) to another (Denver) and were looking at houses for rent on CraigsList. There's a 6 bedroom (yes, 6 bedroom) house in Greeley, which is far far away, for 295 a month. That's nuts! Mike wants to move there right now.

I am 12 years old. Or maybe 11.

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 16:44:43 GMT

I was at a concert in Wyoming last night and this old woman asked me if I was in the junior orchestra. Which is, by the way, composed of 5th and 6th graders.

Seriously?? I look like I'm 11 apparently. Great.

They DO look alike!

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 01:41:05 GMT

Went to go see Robert Bresson's "Pickpocket" last night. I thought Marika Green looks exactly like Natalie Portman, but no one agrees with me. Back me up here!

Green

Portman

Come on!

Blast from the Past

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 05:06:38 GMT

(not the Brendan Fraser[sic?] movie)

I was reading wolfmens'(dont know how to do the link)LJ from about a year ago and was reminded of something I saw when Sylvia Brown was on The Maury Show, which I wrote in his journal. But, its just so great that I have to revisit it. Because its that awesome. And she really said it.

Sylvia: "Those black people from a long time ago who didn't get paid for their work...what do you call 'em..."

Maury: "Slaves?"

Sylvia: "Yeah, Slaves"

Wonderful Horrible Netflix Reviews Part II

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 23:02:42 GMT

On Dr. Zhivago:

"I found this film historically inaccurate! The movie's running time is three hours and twenty minutes. And everyone knows the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 lasted a lot longer than that!"

On Romeo and Juliet (1968):

"I didn't expect much when I rented this movie because it was made over thirty years ago and I am somewhat leery of old movies. I was right! I did not even finish this movie because it was really weird and unbelievable. One thing you should be clued into before you rent this is that it is NOT PG!!! If I had known it was upper PG-13 (maybe even R) like I would not have rented it. If you think this would be a fun movie to watch with your kids you should not get this version. It seems all right for the first half of the movie, then WHAM, a really bad part comes on. "

(Really? A bad part? In Romeo and Juliet?)

On Hamlet:

" [I have] HAD ENOUGH OFF WILLIE SHAKES !!!.... But hark, this Mel Gibson version is wonderful. I now understand what I had read. You'll love it, your kids will love it, and mon and dads will hold up there heads and say "Thats my boy". This one is a real keeper."

Yes!

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:40:22 GMT

anne was
an Egotistical Priest
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:31:56 GMT

New picture. I am a cowboy.

I'm being sued!

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 15:13:37 GMT

Woke up this morning to a phone call (a bit before 7 am) to this woman ranting about how she was going to sue me regarding this accident that happened about a YEAR ago where her son ran into our car coming out of his driveway. I'm taking this to Judge Judy, where she'll teach this woman about how peeing on ones leg is not equivalent to raining.

Worst movie reviews on Netflix

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 23:00:53 GMT

So, of course my all-time favorite horrible movie review on Netflix is "it's slower than a retarded monkey putting together a jigsaw puzzle", I have some new favorites:

"True, the American policy of genocide against the Indians was horrible. But so was this movie."

and...

Two wonderfully terrible reviews about "White Chicks":

"I'm sorry, but the whole basis for this movie is that these guys look like white chicks. I don't know what they do look like, but it's not that. You're not fooling anyone Wayne [sic]brothers!"

"This movie was so funny, my sister and I couldn't stop laughing. Its a little racists [sic], but that makes it funny."

More later!

I really like going years without posting, but I guess months will do

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:25:28 GMT

I think someone is stealing my newspapers. I just got a subscription (which Ive wanted since I was 17, by the way) to the new york times, and I got it ONE DAY before someone started stealing my papers. This morning, there was no paper, and then I ordered a replacement paper over the phone which was supposed to be there by 10:00, and I think someone stole that one, too, because I never got it. I'm thinking of installing a security camera hidden in the birds nest above our door to catch this paper thief.

On another note, I've started learning Spanish and can say the alphabet. All the way to Z. Thats right. After only ONE lesson.

Mike's nicknames for Charlie

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 03:05:13 GMT

So, Mike's nicknames for our dog (charlie) include such gems as Chi Chi Velour among a host of others, and now a new addition: after watching the show 24 with terrorist character Habib Marwan (sp?), Mike has decided to now dub our dog "known canine terrorist Habib Charwan".

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 05:26:57 GMT

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 16:15:40 GMT

Other people named Anne:

Other people named Lendon:

Future Reality TV Exec.

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 20:57:45 GMT

Saw this ad for who knows what, but the premise was a fake reality show where newlyweds have to live in a tiny house(tiny as in everything is made for a little person, and little person as in the politically correct term for dwarves/midgets). They should actually make a show like that. Or, they could turn in around and put newlywed little people in a house that's too big, so they cant reach the toilet or the fridge.

Inventions

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 22:45:54 GMT

Last night I went out with wolfmens and had a drink called something like Java Brew. It was a mix between coffee and beer. It really gave me hope for my invention, "Clamato-Wine"*.

Just try and top that!!

*For those of you who havent had the pleasure of tasting Clamato, it's a tantalizing blend of clam and tomato juice!

The celebrities are making the rounds.

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 21:04:22 GMT

Apparently the celebs DO care!! About me!!!
Kirsten Dunst (sp?) called our house this afternoon. She wants us to vote for Kerry. Now, the reason I can trust her is because of this magazine I was reading on the airplane where she said something like, "Well, I think it takes like a whole year for the sun to revolve around the earth".
No shit? A whole year? And the sun revolves around the earth? Celebs know everything!

Two entries in one day? Im crazy!

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 19:56:49 GMT

So, for those of you who remember Bob (I'm looking at you, Gina), I found out that he is friends with my professor. I mentioned the magazine he edits in class, and apparently they know each other. What a wacky wacky world.